If i come over, it means nothing
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize