I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
