is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
