5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
