Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
