Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
