its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
