i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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