Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
