dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
