You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
