my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
