well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My feet surprised me
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