She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
