He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
