And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize