I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
