just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
