we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
