I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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