fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you made out with another girl for some wings
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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