Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it because I queefed?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
