i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
