So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
