I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
