I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
