If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize