Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
