I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize