I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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