so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
