lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
