i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am naked and annoyed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
