awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
