I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
