I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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