Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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