U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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