About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
