i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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