Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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