The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can Purell be used as lube?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
