Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
