Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
