My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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