If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
