For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
