Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
