Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
