Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
