it was like his penis was on wheels.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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