Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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