$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
