What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
