i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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