Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
