Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
