can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
MIDGETS
????
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize