Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
