; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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