R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will be naked everywhere
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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