Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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