so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
