somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
