angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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