You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
