To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
