We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
