I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
