I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
