Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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