thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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