remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
