i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
