I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
