the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
