i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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