I hate all girls vehemently.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
