You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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