I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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