He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
