using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
