I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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