yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
