Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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